


Taking the Initiative

by Feriku



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-08 05:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feriku/pseuds/Feriku
Summary: After Jesper backs off from flirting due to fear he might accidentally pressure Wylan into moving too fast, Wylan realizes to his horror that Jesper expects him to take the initiative in their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

Unfortunately, the medik didn’t arrive in time to heal Wylan’s injuries by the end of the day.

“Guess there’ll be no down payment tonight,” Jesper said in a quiet enough tone for only Wylan to hear, and was rewarded by his merchling turning bright pink.

He could pretend to be scandalized, but Jesper knew better. He was the one who made the “down payment” joke in the first place.

“Well,” Wylan said, “we should find a place to sleep.” He spoke as if this was a house they happened to be staying in, instead of his home. Maybe it didn’t feel much like home to him.

As Jesper followed Wylan through the mansion, he vowed to change that.

The halls seemed to go on forever, but at last Wylan stopped and opened the door of what appeared to be a guest room. “This will be good.”

For him? For both of them?

Had Wylan picked a guest room because he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in either his old room or the master bedroom, or because he considered Jesper his guest and chose a room solely for him? Jesper didn’t actually know if Wylan would be open to sleeping together, in any sense of the phrase.

How permanent did he want their relationship to be? When he said he wanted Jesper to stay with him, did he _really_ mean what Jesper hoped he meant?

“—you?”

Jesper jumped. Wylan had asked him something, and he didn’t hear a word of it. “Sorry, what?” He disguised his uncertainty with a casual smirk and reached out to touch Wylan’s hair. “I was distracted looking at these gorgeous curls.”

Wylan blushed. That sight would never get old.

But thinking about Wylan’s blushes brought him right back to his predicament.

“I said, is this room all right with you?”

“Sure, of course.” Any room would do. The only question was whether or not the bed came with a merchling. Jesper opened his mouth to ask, then hesitated.

All teasing aside, he really didn’t want to pressure Wylan into anything. His normal jokes felt different when it was just the two of them standing together in the mansion’s halls, especially since they’d broached the idea of a relationship.

By rights, it should feel _more_ appropriate to make innuendoes once they were in a relationship, not less. Yet it brought with it a looming fear that Wylan would feel compelled to go along with his suggestions where he previously wouldn’t have.

“Jes?” Wylan frowned. “You’re acting strange. Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“If you’re not comfortable with this, I understand.”

Jesper smiled. Wylan was worried about whether or not _he_ was comfortable? It would have made him laugh, if it wasn’t so darn sweet. “Comfortable with what?”

The other boy looked away. “Staying with me.”

“You know I want to be here.”

“Sharing a room, then.” Wylan met his gaze. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve said before, Jes. If you aren’t comfortable sharing, I won’t be offended.”

So then the plan _was_ for them to share the room? Jesper breathed a sigh of relief. No more uncertainty or agonizing over what to say. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Wylan, careful not to squeeze too tight. “Sharing a room with you is everything I want.”

Wylan’s eyebrows twitched. “That’s surprisingly tame for you.”

What, did he miss the innuendo? Jesper grinned and kissed him. “You’re still injured.”

“I hope the medik arrives early tomorrow.”

“Me too.” Jesper held him a moment longer and peered into his face. “Are you still in pain? Is there anything I can do?”

“I just want to sleep.” Wylan paused. “With you.” His face reddened and he cleared his throat. “Just together, I mean.”

Jesper chuckled softly. At least he wasn’t the only one having a bit of trouble. With the uncertainty cleared away for the moment, he led Wylan into their—was it too early to think of it that way?—bedroom.

It was a plain room, without much in the way of furnishings beyond the bed. Maybe it was a sign of Wylan wanting to start fresh.

Wylan took off only his shoes and then climbed into bed fully dressed. With a soft smile, Jesper did the same. Whatever made Wylan comfortable, that was exactly what they’d do.

He reached out and touched Wylan’s hand. “Good night, Wy.”

“Good night, Jes.”

Tomorrow the medik would come, and then everything would be fine.

#

But it didn’t feel right to ask about the “down payment” right after Wylan’s injuries were healed, because then it might seem like Jesper had been displeased with how the previous night went, when nothing could be further from the truth.

And the more distance put between them and the original joke, the more awkward it felt to bring it up again. The moment had passed.

That made things more difficult. Jesper didn’t want to seem impatient. If Wylan wanted to wait, then Jesper would wait for him. The fear of pressuring him into something by accident hung over him, until Jesper found himself catching every intended joke or innuendo before it could come out.

Time passed, and Jesper began to think his relationship with Wylan might remain as one of soft kisses and chaste nights forever.

#

Once Wylan came to terms with his new life in charge of the Van Eck fortune and business, he expected many things to happen.

He expected Inej to eventually leave and take command of her new ship. That happened. He expected to bring his mother home and help her to adjust. That happened. He expected to slowly take control of his finances and learn how to manage all of this. Despite some early struggles, that also happened.

Before any of those things, however, he’d expected certain activities to happen with Jesper, most of which involved them taking off their clothes.

That had yet to happen.

Wylan considered the situation as the taller boy snuggled in alongside him for his evening ritual of reading the next day’s documents for Wylan to memorize. Jesper certainly was physically affectionate. Sometimes it seemed like Wylan couldn’t be with him for more than a minute before being treated to soft kisses trailed down his neck, or gentle fingers playing with his hair, or just Jesper’s strong body pressed against his.

So it certainly wasn’t a lack of interest.

Wylan closed his eyes as Jesper read. The problem continued to buzz around the back of his mind. Jesper still cared, still wanted to be together, yet not only hadn’t he made a move, he’d even cut back on his teasing almost entirely.

That could only mean…

Oh no.

Wylan winced as the truth struck him.

Jesper was waiting for _him_ to take the initiative.

Granted, Wylan had been the one to initiate their kiss; despite Jesper’s nonstop flirting, Wylan took the lead in their relationship in many ways. Jesper’s hesitation outside the bedroom that first night flashed through his memory. He must have been worried Wylan didn’t want to spend the night with him.

If he was holding back out of concern for Wylan’s innocence…

“Merchling?” Jesper paused in the middle of his reading. “Am I going too fast?”

Wylan realized he was still cringing at the thought of trying to take the lead in a sexual encounter. “Sorry, I’m a little distracted tonight.”

“What’s wrong?” Jesper put down the documents, his gaze worried.

“I… I’m with you, of course I’m distracted.” Even that light attempt at flirting made Wylan blush. “Those papers can wait until the morning. Let’s just spend tonight together.”

“Of course, Wy.”

As Jesper held him close and pressed a kiss to his forehead, Wylan sighed. The biggest problem was that Jesper’s presumed concerns weren’t entirely incorrect. He had good reason to be worried about Wylan’s inexperience. It was overwhelming to think about how much more Jesper knew and had done.

But while Jesper appeared to have interpreted that as meaning Wylan wasn’t ready, it was instead that he was too embarrassed to vocalize his desire. He wanted Jesper, but the thought of saying so out loud mortified him.

In other words, he needed a plan.


	2. Chapter 2

Idea #1: tell Jesper outright that he was ready to progress.

Wylan lay awake staring at the ceiling with Jesper’s warm presence beside him. He cringed. While it was arguably the best plan, since it could leave no room for doubt, the thought of greeting Jesper with, “Let’s have sex!” or “I’m ready for that down payment now” made him want to hide under the covers and never come out.

No, the direct approach was way too embarrassing. And what if it turned out Jesper had another reason for avoiding this step? He’d embarrass himself even more.

Wylan glanced beside him. Jesper was truly beautiful. Except most of his beauty was currently hidden underneath a nightshirt and pants. Wylan thought he’d have seen much more of him by this point.

Of course, he could hardly blame Jesper when he was dressed the same way. He hadn’t exactly rushed to undress in front of him.

Wait. Maybe that was it.

Idea #2: strip off all of his clothes and let Jesper find him naked.

That would definitely be enough to give him a hint. Wylan started undoing the buttons of his nightshirt, but then he paused.

He wouldn’t be pleased if he woke up to someone suddenly naked in bed with him, so it wouldn’t be fair to do that to Jesper without warning, no matter how much he believed Jesper would enjoy it. It would be better to just take off all his clothes one evening before they went to sleep, or not put on his nightshirt at all…

Okay, stripping in front of Jesper would make him die of embarrassment. But maybe there was a way.

#

Wylan finished drying off after his bath and took a deep breath. He and Jesper had fallen into a comfortable routine they followed every evening. Wylan bathed, got dressed for bed, and then walked into the bedroom they shared. Then Jesper would also bathe before they slept.

They had eventually left the guest room, at Wylan’s prompting—he refused to be afraid of rooms in his own house—so they now had an adjoining room in which they could bathe.

Which meant he could walk straight into the bedroom.

No one would see him but Jesper.

Wylan put down the towel. He left his nightshirt and pants untouched. He walked to the door.

But it wasn’t just embarrassing, it was _him_ , and he was too skinny and pale and Jesper had probably seen dozens of people better-looking than him and—

Wylan took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. He would not be afraid in his own house and he would not let his self-confidence be poisoned again. He exhaled. Jesper wanted to see him like this. It would be fine.

All he had to do was focus on the goal. He’d finally get the progression in their relationship he was hoping for, and he had to take off his clothes for that either way. Walking into the bedroom naked was no big deal. No big deal at all. He took another breath to steady his nerves.

And opened the door.

Jesper was resting, eyes closed, arms behind his head. He stirred as Wylan forced himself to step into the room. “Done, merch—” He looked up and froze. His mouth opened, but nothing else came out.

Wylan’s daydreams had involved walking seductively toward the bed, but in reality he’d have to settle for a few wobbly steps. His face was on fire.

Jesper’s gaze flitted across him—and then he leaped out of the bed.

Well, that was more enthusiasm than—

But he was not, unfortunately, racing to tackle Wylan in a passionate embrace. He made a dash for the door. “Sorry, Wy, I didn’t realize you wanted to change in here! I didn’t mean to stare!”

He was out of the bedroom before Wylan could say a word.

Wylan leaned against the wall with a sigh and ran a hand over his face. His cheeks still felt hot, but the indignation that it hadn’t _worked_ pushed away his embarrassment. How could Jesper mistake him walking into the bedroom naked for anything but an invitation?

Maybe he should have practiced the seductive walk.

He could always stay as he was and tell Jesper he wanted to sleep like this… but given how Jesper had been behaving lately, he would probably give Wylan a chaste kiss, pretend he didn’t see anything, and stay on his side of the bed all night long.

Wylan sighed and retrieved his nightshirt.

#

Idea #3: make some suggestive comments and let Jesper’s dirty mind take it from there.

It shouldn’t be hard. Jesper had a special talent for getting innuendo out of even the most innocent comments. As long as Wylan put in a little effort, it wouldn’t be too long before Jesper teased him, and then Wylan could simply agree.

Three days had passed since his previous attempt. Three days of Jesper apologizing and Wylan assuring him it was fine and he didn’t mind and _how could Jesper not realize what that meant?_ At last, Jesper had accepted that he hadn’t distressed him him by “accidentally” seeing him naked, but he still hadn’t taken the hint.

By morning, Wylan had worked out his next plan.

He woke up first and lay awake with his heart hammering until Jesper stirred. As usual, Jesper gave him a sleepy smile before greeting him with a kiss, followed by nuzzling and then kissing his neck.

When Jesper pulled away at last and started to rise, Wylan tugged him back down toward him.

“Eager, are we?” Jesper asked with a grin.

Wylan blushed. “I’m… I’m always eager for you.”

“Then I’m all yours.” Jesper obligingly resumed his kissing.

“I’m yours, too.” Wylan’s heart was beating so fast, he only hoped Jesper didn’t notice and misinterpret. “Yours to… do with as you please.”

These comments sounded so much more flirtatious in his head.

Jesper chuckled softly. He tangled one hand in Wylan’s hair and kissed him. His other hand rested on Wylan’s back. It didn’t appear his hands were going to move anywhere else.

After they broke apart, Wylan mustered his nerve again. “We should stay in bed all day.”

“No important merch work?”

“I prefer being in bed with you,” Wylan said, his cheeks hot.

“Then what shall we do, merchling?” Jesper kissed along his jawline and nipped his skin lightly. “This?”

How was he not taking the bait?

Wylan squirmed and tried to sound seductive. “Or other things?”

“Oh?”

“I’m sure you know”—he was going to pass out from embarrassment if he had to keep this up much longer—“lots of things to do in bed.”

Jesper pulled back and looked into his eyes. “What do you want to do?”

Wylan swallowed hard. “Whatever you have in mind. What, um, what do you want to do if you’re going to be in bed with me all day?”

There. That had to be enough, right?

Jesper pulled him close into a warm embrace and kissed him again. His hands still did not go anywhere interesting.

When he made up his mind not to pressure someone, apparently nothing could shake him from his course.

#

By the following evening, Wylan had worked out Idea #4. It was the best, if a bit daring, plan for overcoming this obstacle. Guaranteed to work.

He walked into their bedroom and tried to sound casual. “You look stiff, Jes.”

Jesper looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “What?”

“Stiff.” Wylan waited a moment, in case that might prompt a joke on its own, then continued. “Why don’t I give you a massage before we sleep?”

Jesper laughed. “I’ve never needed a massage to sleep, merchling.”

“You never used to sleep with a merchling, either.”

Seriously, how could Jesper ignore these great opportunities Wylan kept giving him?

“All right.” Jesper shrugged and grinned. “If you want to try it, I certainly won’t object. I would never say no to having your hands on me.”

Progress.

Wylan scrambled up onto the bed alongside Jesper, and when the other boy turned around, began massaging his shoulders. He had no idea how to give an actual massage, but a glorified backrub would suit his purposes.

Jesper relaxed. “Hey, that does feel good.”

He probably just liked Wylan touching him. Wylan took a deep breath. “Actually”—his voice came out slightly high-pitched, despite his efforts to keep it under control—“this will go better if you take your shirt off.”

Jesper faced him, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his face. “Your wish is my command.” He unbuttoned his shirt slowly and then pulled it off, casting it to the side.

Wylan drew a sharp breath at the sight of Jesper’s bare shoulders and chest and stomach. He was blushing, but Jesper liked that, so it wasn’t all bad.

“Admit it,” Jesper said as he turned around again, “you just wanted to see me with my shirt off.”

Blushing harder, Wylan let his fingers run along Jesper’s shoulders, the touch of his bare skin nearly enough to overwhelm him. Jesper’s breath hitched. Good. At least Wylan wasn’t the only one. He resumed his attempted massage, and the lean muscles beneath his hands reminded him he could have so much more if he overcame his embarrassment enough to speak.

He pressed his face against Jesper’s back in an attempt to cool his burning cheeks. “Okay.”

Jesper stirred. “Okay?”

“I’m admitting it.”

“Admitting—” Jesper turned around. “Wait, you mean you really _did_ do this just to see me with my shirt off?”

Wylan cleared his throat. “Yes. Sort of.”

“You never cease to amaze me, merchling.” Jesper leaned close and kissed him.

Kissing felt different like this, in bed with Jesper, so close to his bare skin, nothing separating them except Wylan’s own shirt, which suddenly needed to come off as soon as possible. He returned Jesper’s kiss desperately, hands running up his back in the hopes that Jesper would help him get his shirt off, though not until he finished doing such wonderful, wonderful things with his tongue.

Then Jesper pulled back with a gentle smile Wylan had come to recognize as meaning he was being very respectful and considerate of Wylan’s boundaries.

He fought the urge to groan out loud.

Even this plan had failed.

It really had to be Idea #1, didn’t it?

Embarrassment threatened to keep him silent, but short of tearing off his shirt and tackling Jesper to the bed, he’d run out of hints to give. His embarrassment would not be nearly as painful as if this night ended with him frustrated again.

“Jesper,” he said, resigned to the necessity, “when are we going to become more intimate?”

Jesper stared at him.

Wylan did his best to look as though it was perfectly normal for him to talk about intimacy and that he absolutely did not want to run and hide somewhere until Jesper forgot the question.

“Whenever you’re comfortable with it,” Jesper finally said. “We can take this as slowly as you want.”

“I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?” Dawning realization spread across his face. “Wait a minute, all those things you’ve said and done lately… were those _intentional?_ ”

Wylan ducked his head and nodded.

“You mean I wasted all that prime teasing material when you _wanted_ me to react to it?” Jesper drew himself up, his tone indignant. “I even gave up a chance to stare at you while you were naked!”

He seemed so affronted, Wylan couldn’t help but laugh. He leaned close and kissed him. “I know you just didn’t want to pressure me. I really appreciate that.”

“Why didn’t you just say what you wanted?”

It was tempting to counter that by saying Jesper should have asked, but it all came back to that same point. He’d been afraid Wylan would say yes just to make him happy. He’d wanted Wylan to tell him when he was ready, without any pressure.

So instead of arguing, Wylan just grinned despite the hammering of his heart. “You’re right, you missed so much because I didn’t tell you. How can I ever make it up to you, Jes?”

A wicked glimmer sparkled in Jesper’s eyes as his hands found the buttons of Wylan’s shirt. “I’ll think of something.”


End file.
